Picture this: it’s 1995, you’re clutching a bucket of buttery popcorn, and the theater is buzzing with Friday night energy. That’s exactly the vibe Eenie Meanie desperately deserves but sadly can’t have in our streaming-dominated world.
This rollicking crime caper feels like a lost treasure from the golden age of multiplex mayhem, and honestly? That’s both its blessing and its curse.
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Don’t let the quirky title fool you into thinking this is some kiddie flick or horror schlock-fest. Eenie Meanie is neither child’s play nor nightmare fuel – it’s a full-throttle action-comedy that packs more punch than a caffeinated kangaroo in a boxing ring.
Samara Weaving Steals More Than Just Cars
First-time director Shawn Simmons comes out swinging with this debut, and boy, does he know how to pick his leading lady. Samara Weaving (the absolute queen from Ready Or Not) proves once again that Hollywood is criminally underusing her talents. She embodies Edie – yes, that’s where the title comes from, clever clogs – a reformed getaway driver turned bank teller who’s desperately trying to keep her nose clean.
But here’s where things get juicy: Edie’s backstory reads like a Lifetime movie directed by Guy Ritchie. At just 14, she was already behind the wheel, chauffeuring her hot-mess parents (drug dealers, naturally) home from sketchy dive bars. Fast-forward through a turbulent foster care system, and our girl is finally attempting to live the straight and narrow life.
When Your Ex is “The 9/11 of Human Beings”
Enter the world’s worst boyfriend: John (played by Love‘s Karl Glusman), whom Edie so eloquently describes as “the 9/11 of human beings.” Ouch, but probably accurate. This walking disaster magnet drags Edie back into the criminal underworld for – you guessed it – One Last Job™. Because apparently, some Hollywood tropes are immortal.
The mastermind behind this heist? None other than Andy Garcia as crime boss Nico, proving that 18 years since his last Ocean’s appearance hasn’t dulled his criminal charm one bit.
A Cinematic Cocktail of Iconic Influences
Here’s where Eenie Meanie gets really interesting. Simmons has clearly done his homework, serving up a delicious cocktail of cinematic influences:
- Shane Black’s witty banter and Christmas setting (because nothing says holiday cheer like armed robbery)
- Edgar Wright’s kinetic car sequences that’ll make you think of Baby Driver
- Quentin Tarantino’s morbidly hilarious character deaths (RIP to all the poor souls who meet abrupt, comedic ends)
- Even a dash of Monty Python genius, because apparently the name “Tim” is comedy gold
The result? A film that feels both fresh and delightfully familiar, like finding your favorite comfort food with an exciting new twist.
Pacing Problems and Plate-Spinning Pandemonium
Now, let’s address the elephant in the room: sometimes this movie tries to juggle more balls than a circus performer on Red Bull. The first act alone throws at us teenage arrests, surprise pregnancies, bank robberies, deadly chases, and enough plot threads to weave a tapestry. It’s ambitious, sure, but occasionally feels like Simmons bit off more than he could cinematically chew.
Once the heist machinery gets properly oiled and running, though? Chef’s kiss – it’s smooth sailing with the kind of genre fluency that would make Steven Soderbergh nod approvingly from his director’s chair.
When Greek Tragedy Crashes the Crime Comedy Party
The final act takes an unexpected left turn into Shakespearean tragedy territory, which might catch some viewers off guard. After spending 90 minutes in action-comedy land, the sudden melodramatic shift feels a bit like showing up to a pool party in a tuxedo – not necessarily wrong, but definitely jarring.
These tonal gymnastics might cost the film some goodwill with audiences expecting consistent laughs, but they also showcase Simmons’ willingness to take creative risks. Sometimes those risks pay off, sometimes they don’t, but you’ve got to admire the audacity.
The Verdict: Stream It Before It Disappears
Eenie Meanie is that rare beast: a genuinely surprising streaming find that doesn’t deserve to languish in your “Watch Later” queue. Yes, it would’ve been absolutely electric with a theater full of moviegoers losing their minds over the action sequences and quotable one-liners. But in our living rooms, with our own snacks and pause buttons, it still delivers enough thrills, spills, and kills to make for a thoroughly entertaining evening.
Samara Weaving continues her campaign for movie stardom, Shawn Simmons announces himself as a director to watch, and audiences get a crime comedy that actually tries to do something different. In today’s landscape of formulaic content, that’s worth celebrating.
Bottom Line: Don’t let this hidden gem stay hidden. Pour yourself your beverage of choice, dim the lights, and prepare for a wild ride that proves streaming can still surprise us.
Rating: ★★★★☆ A vigorous, surprising crime caper that deserves your Friday night attention
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